Before I started my training contract, I imagined that my days would go something like this:
6.45am – Alarm goes off. I jump out of bed. I feel great. Fresh. Alive. Pumped. 6.55am – I prepare and eat a nutritious breakfast. I take my time. I’m relaxed. Excited about the day ahead. 7.15am – I shower. I like to sing in the shower. So I do. 8.05am – I get a seat on the tube and everyone is smiling. No delays. 8.35 am – I arrive in the office. My secretary loves me and we high five. I rock. She rocks. We all rock. 8.47am – I open my inbox. Praise, praise and more praise. It’s embarrassing. Print for file. 8.45am – I review some evidence. I find something that proves a client’s case beyond all reasonable doubt and the managing partner books me a spa day. I won’t be working any weekend soon. 9.24am – “Tea?” I nod and my supervising partner asks if I want one lump or two? 10.02am – I stare at a contract and it stares back. 10.35am – I draft some amendments and email my opponent. 11.00am – My opponent calls and I dazzle him with some contractual charm. He backs down and I smile. It’s like stealing candy warranties from a baby. 1pm – I sit down for a lunch. Cocktails all round. I have a great view of London and everyone laughs at my witty anecdotes. I’m hilarious. 4pm – I stumble back to the office and everyone cheers. I hear a whoop and a whey hey! I love the enthusiasm. The dynamism. It’s just what the brochure promised. 5pm – The New York office calls. They want me to give a talk about adding value. In person. And the legal press wants a quote on how I ruddy well do it…..ok. 6pm – I skip off home. Not a minute later. I go to the gym. I meet a friend for dinner. I can’t wait for tomorrow and I sleep like a log.
In reality, though, my days tend to go something like this. Strike an eggy pose.